It’ll Be Just Like Starting Over

I’m not sure where or when, but I lost it.

Sometime in the last year I lost my voice.

Not my speaking voice, as can be evidenced by my presentation at Hasbro Children’s Hospital for Pediatric Grand Rounds with the Brown University Medical School in January, or in March when I spoke in front of almost 400 social workers and case managers at the New England Fathering Conference. No, my speaking voice is just fine.

Not my advocacy voice, as this year I was elected to serve as the co-chair of the Hospital Wide Advisory Council for Patient and Family Centered Care at Women & Infants Hospital, along with my post on the Board of Directors at RIPIN. On top of that I spent the first three months of the year working every Saturday with the LEAD (Leadership, Equity,  and Advocacy for Dad’s) Speakers Bureau through the Children’s Welfare Institute at the Rhode Island College School of Social Work crafting our stories with other dads to lead policy changes in the health care, family court, and child support systems.

And after two paragraphs like those, it obviously isn’t my ‘bragging about myself’ voice that I can’t seem to find.

It isn’t even my writing voice. I’ve been doing plenty of writing, you’re just going to have to wait a while and pay anywhere from $7.99 to $15.99  in order to read it in book form someday (hopefully).

No, it’s my blogging voice that I lost.

But I’m determined to get it back.

Determined to make this work again the way I have in the past because you know all of those things I bragged about up in the beginning of this post?

Yeah, well none of those things would have even been possible without this blog. Sharing Liam’s story, our story, and listening to you, all of you, in your comments and emails, and tweets, has been the only thing to give me enough confidence to stick my neck out and claim to have any expertise on something, for the first time in my life.

So until I can get back into a rhythm, I’ll start out small. There will be some short posts I’m sure. Maybe it will be a while before I’m back to big long 2,000 word essays again. Sometimes it might even be only a picture.

But there will be posting again.

Because lately I’ve been feeling guilty that I’ve abandoned this space that helped me find my true passion and calling for public speaking and advocacy. Because lately I’ve been feeling guilty that I have “abandoned” so many people who care about Liam and want to hear how he is doing now that he has finished kindergarten (!!!!!).

Because lately I’ve been feeling so guilty that NOT posting has become harder than regularly posting ever was.

Thanks for reading again.

It’s time for me to get my voice back.

3 comments

  1. Not gonna lie, I was slightly giddy to see a “new post on Pressure Support” email in my inbox last night. I can only imagine how much Liam’s other “fans” must miss your posts – they don’t get regular updates on Liam like I do! Sometimes I’ll read a story in your blog that I’ve already heard, and even though I might already know what happens, I can’t wait to read it here again in your words. You have a gift, it’s your job to share it. Don’t leave us hanging!

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