Liam’s Mom Won’t Take Any Sick Days.

Were it Liam who needed to rush to the emergency room at 4am Saturday morning we would have known exactly what to do.  The movements choreographed, decisions made in seconds. Even in the most stressful of times a calmness of knowing what to do takes over. Were it Liam.

When it is one of us though, things go a little wonky.

So when Karin came downstairs at 4am, which is our time to switch posts anyway, with a swollen puffy face it took more discussion than it should have before she left to get treated in the emergency room. We both knew she needed to go. Niether of us wanted to say it out loud. knowing what we know about E.R.’s we both knew what she was in for once she got there. Hours and hours of waiting in a waiting room, before hours and hours of waiting in an exam room. Admitting desk, nurse, resident, attending, repeat your symptoms and the timeline again. Karin’s run this drill before.

Only this time…do it alone.

It isn’t as if she didn’t think she needed to be treated or that she was too scared of all of that, no it was that if she left to be treated who would take care of us. Absent the fever Karin was showing signs of a major infection in her face but she was more concerned with how I would get any sleep before work once she left. Who would do Liam’s trach care in the morning? Who would be the mom, should the mom get admitted to the hospital?

Thank God it didn’t come to that. 8 hours after walking in the hospital, after a battery of tests and x-rays, an IV antibiotic and a handful of prescriptions later Karin came home with the answers. A pocket abscess. An infection growing at the base of an old root canal. Had she hesitated to go get it checked out who knows where the infection could have spread. Bloodstream, eye, brain or airway, we know a thing or two about infections in this house. We know about sepsis. We know what could have been.

This morning, five days after this whole ordeal began, and two days after she had met with a trauma dentist (a title I had never heard of before), Karin saw the oral surgeon and had the procedure to clear out the infection. The pain she has endured all week now threefold. Swelling, which had receded with the antibiotics, now back with a vengence thanks to the cutting through gums and drilling through bone.

Given the same I would be curled up in a ball. She did laundry.

Try as I might to get her to stay in bed all night to rest she insisted on taking her “shift” so that I could sleep before work.

She is incredible.

Unbelievable.

And amazing.

I’m sure she thinks I can take care of Liam by myself if I had to — but she’ll be damned if she’s ever gonna let me prove it.

I didn’t do it by myself though. I called in some favors. Liam’s nurse enjoying a day off with his family responded to my text immediately and was willing to come and be with Liam so that I could go to get karin at the hospital if I needed to (she drove herself home because she didn’t want to bother anyone). My mom came to sit with Liam so Karin could get some sleep and I could go to work. Karin’s mom came up to take her to the oral surgeon so that I could go to work today as well.

I didn’t do it by myself.

How much do you want to bet that if it were me in the E.R. that Karin would have though?

Well that’s a suckers bet. You don’t ever want to bet against my wife.

******

In the time since I’ve posted last we’ve had a super-hero themed birthday party for a five year old. I’ve been approached to give a presentation to a hospital bio-ethics committee and to be the keynote speaker at a conference on former NICU families this summer. We’ve even painted our living room which is significant only in the fact that it’s the most “moved in” to this house we have gotten since we bought it while Liam was in the NICU. Every one of those things could have made a great blog post but have gone unmarked. Longtime readers will know — tales of hospitals, E.R.’s, and illnesses?
Well that’s just what I do best around here.

5 comments

  1. Karin, So sorry you have had so much pain and suffering this past week. get well soon. You are a great lady. Prayers and well wishes are going your way. Love you, Grandmama

  2. Now we all know how much MORE amazing Karin is! Please take care of yourselves!
    Joanne

    Joanne Clemente, Ed. D.
    Director of Online Learning
    Center for Adult Student Education (CASE):
    Faculty Trainer, Blackboard/Moodle Administrator, MapWorks
    Dominican College
    470 Western Highway
    Orangeburg, NY 10962
    845.848.4017
    [cid:image001.jpg@01CF1DA1.3FC29290]

    It is better to be good than to be right.

  3. I’m sorry to hear of all this “extra” stuff you and your family have endured, particularly Karin! What a beautiful family you are — so supportive of one another, each of you working to make a whole. I sure hope you “pace” yourselves, though, take rest when you have to have it, hunker down for the long haul. Sending love and healing thoughts as well as hope for some boring times!

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