This isn’t new behavior. In fact it happens all the time, I even posted a fuzzy cell phone picture of the first time it ever happened here. It still cracks me up every single time. Especially when we see Liam’s heartrate drop by like 10bpm as Calvin settles in and starts purring, showing just how calming an effect they have on each other.
Based on the a slight tone of worry in more than one of the comments, emails, and facebook messages sent after a few recent posts I fear that an explaination may be in order.
We’re fine with our home nursing. Thank you for your concern but we are not struggling or breaking down, we’re just plodding along and putting one good day after another.
The nurse in question from my last post was never going to be Liam’s nurse. She was only here to be trained and tested before going on to her assigned case (making her behavior even more puzzling since we are under no obligation to allow anyone to use our son as a a teaching tool. We do it to help the agency and other families who need nurses.) We didn’t lose anything from her incompetence other than our enthusiasm to help any more new nurses in the near future. We are not heartbroken or let down. I thank you but we’re doing just fine.
A few weeks ago I posted a bit about our schedule when Liam has a night nurse as opposed to our schedule when he does not. Again It wasn’t a complaint about our lack of nursing it was merely me documenting here for anyone curious what our “normal” night looks like. Would it be nice to have a nurse come by every single night so that my wife and I could spend every night getting a nice long chunk of sleep together? Sure, so would a million dollars. That’d make life easier too. But we’re fine, thank you for asking.
As I type this, Karin has just retired to the bedroom for the night. Instead of coming downstairs at 4am to switch places with me down here, she will sleep undisturbed until whenever she decides to come downstairs tomorrow. Were it not for our crazy schedule I wouldn’t be able to give her that Mother’s Day gift.
I like that I can give her that Mother’s Day gift. Truth be told, I should do it more often. She deserves it.
Karin and I try as hard as we can to straddle a line with Liam’s nursing needs. Whether we like it or not it is necessary and so we use what we need but we try to do so by staffing only just enough hours to prevent the insurance company from reducing the number of hours they’ve approved, but not enough hours to make this home feel like a clinic. There aren’t any patients living here. Just a little boy, his parents and a couple of cats.
Using a minimum amount of nursing is important to us.
Parenting was a spectator sport for us for the first 9 months of Liam’s life. We endure 9 months of watching nurses take care of our baby. We had no choice in the matter then. We do have that choice at home.
So we choose to not have any nursing help on weekends. (unless we schedule a special nursing shift for a date night. It does occasionally happen.) We also choose to keep Tuesdays as a nursing free day. A part of the routine since the first day he ever came home it’s called “Mommy & Liam Tuesday”. Karin relishes her one day a week alone with her boy, while I toil away at the old salt mine, and I am tremendously jealous of both of them for it. We choose to not have too many nights covered for us to sleep because it’s our responsibility as Liam’s parents to care for Liam not some nursing company. When Liam wakes in the middle of the night due to a nightmare or a seizure (but I repeat myself) we want to be ones who comfort him, not someone who get’s to call in sick from being there for him, or is only there to collect a paycheck*. Show me a parent who doesn’t make the hard choices and sacrifices for the benefit of their child and I will show you a parent who is doing it wrong.
Thank you for your concern. We all appreciate it and hope you continue to share your comments, messages, and emails with us but we are doing just fine with our nursing schedule right now. We’ll survive.
We always do.
We’re fine. How are you?
I’ll talk to you later.
*P.S. Now that I’m thinking about it and so that I don’t have to write another explaination post, let me also say this. Like anything else, there are exceptions to every rule. The Olson family has also been fortunate enough to work with a few nurses who while they are/were still paid to be here and able to call in sick, have also shown that Liam’s care and well being were/are very important to them. It should come as no surprise that those are the same nurses that Liam has grown more than a little fond of as well. They know who they are and also how important they are and always will be to us.
P.P.S. Oh, and expect a post this week about a crazy story involving a billing snafu with our nursing company. But knowthis — that one has nothing to do with our nursing help situation and more to do with the interagency bureaucracies, bullshit, and red tape that can effect the families of children with special needs. In the end (I hope) the nursing company was the one that stepped up and did something about it so for now, yay them anyway.