I’m the guy that you don’t want to go to a bookstore with. Same went for going to the video store back when they existed. I’m not good with choosing. I walk around pulling titles off the shelf and instead of thinking “this looks like a good read. I’ll get this.” I usually think something more along the lines of “hmm, Looks pretty good but if I keep looking there’ll be something even better” which only ends with me carrying 5 or 6 books and trying to narrow them down to one while Karin sternly tells me to just pick one because she’s been patiently waiting for a half hour and it’s time to leave now.
Anyway, that’s just books and videos.
I’m just as bad with online shopping. I’ve had an iTunes gift card since my birthday in October that still sits unused because I can’t decide between getting some older albums that I’ve always needed or branching out and picking up something new from an artist I’m not that as familiar with. It’s pathalogical with me. I’m nuts.
But again, were talking about records, songs.
How can I be expected to choose from something that actually means something to me? Something deeper than a mere appreciation.
Weeks ago a friend ended an email with the post script “What is your single favorite picture of Liam?” and because I’m a terrible friend I still haven’t answered him.
I mean the question isn’t even fair. How am I to choose among all of this amazing handsomeness? I can’t even break down where to begin with defining “favorite.”
Should it be one of the FIRSTS?
And that hat? Yeah I wore that almost every minute of our time in the NICU. My Nan made it for me and gave it to me for Christmas the day before Liam was born. It became my security blanket for about 5 months.
Does Liam have to show his face in the photo?
Or should I be really selfish about this and choose a picture of Liam giving me specifically that great big smile of his? How could these next two not be my favorite?
He hadn’t seen me all day. I met Liam and his mom at the doctors office since it was next door to my work. THis is the greeting I got when I knelt down to say his. Karin caught the moment perfectly. It has to be one of my favorites. But If that one is my favorite then where does that leave this one…
As SECOND favorite??? I don’t think so.
On second thought, does Liam even have to be prominent in the photo? I took this one about 24 hours after he was born…
I guess if I’m being completely honest my favorite picture of Liam is framed and sits next to my bed. I see it every night before sleeping and it’s the first thing I see in the morning. It was taken the night we were given the results of Liam’s brain MRI. He was two weeks old and the news was not good. That night I held him for the second time of his life. Liam in his way, told me that things would be ok despite what all the doctors were telling us. The picture was taken by Liam’s first primary nurse and it was taken the old fashioned way. You know, with film. I have no digital copy of that picture and I like it that way. That picture is just for me. You don’t get to see it. But I have some shots that are similar…
Of course I can’t deny how happy the early pictures of Liam and his mom make me so maybe they are my favorite…
But I can’t decide.
What about Halloween? After close to two years of calling him Liam the Lion to see actually see him as a lion was amazing and I love looking back on these.
Even if he didn’t like wearing the headpiece.
He generally doesn’t like head wear but he tolerates it for his Mom and Dad.
So Ken, I’m sorry. I just can’t do it.
I can’t decide on a favorite because it is always changing.
But today? Today at this moment if you were to twist my arm and force me to choose my favorite picture of Liam, I’d have to say it is the one that his mother just took. Liam NOT attached to his ventilator. Free from his machine (which longingly looks on over his shoulder) and smiley as ever. Today, this is my favorite.
But ask me again tomorrow. It’ll be something completely different.