I know, I know people are asking me all the time. “With all that time spent sitting on the couch watching TV how do you find the time to blog so often?” The blistering productivity of almost 2 whole posts a week doesn’t come easy folks, but since so many of you, my darling readers, are wondering I’m going to let you all behind the curtain. To see how I play the wizard to this blogging Oz of mine.
I have been perfecting my writing process since college. Through all the blogs I’ve started and then lost interest. All of the short stories I’ve started, and of course the book that when published is going to make me an overnight success. Every couple of months I get all hyped up about writing and I rush to the bookstore and buy a new Moleskine notebook. Usually I’ll pick up a mechanical pencil or a fancy pen because, you know, I’ve got nothing better to spend my money on like food and rent. I take it home and fill out the reward if found blank on the inside cover with “A nice chat over a couple of beers” and start writing down all the witty things I’m always thinking. Story ideas, character sketches, book reviews, the works. I carry it with me from room to room in the house and it comes back and forth to work with me. The pocket in the back may even get a cool newspaper clipping or funny fortune from the Chinese take-out from last night. I refer to it. I number the pages and date each entry. I do all this for about 2 or 3 days.
Then I sit in front of the computer. I read articles online and check in on all my favorite blogs before I buckle down and really get to what I’m truly gifted at. You’ll never find someone so good at procrastinating. It really is a talent of mine. Tomorrow since its my day off I’ll really have the time to write something. Tomorrow since we have a nurse I’ll really get into some good blog posts. Tomorrow I’ll work on that post about health care or the book review and I haven’t even talked about what my favorite movies are yet. I have a shit load of writing to do tomorrow. I am always busy tomorrow.
The moleskine stays in the backpack for a day. My hands feel less restricted not having to carry anything or I’ll wear the pants that don’t have any pockets big enough for my little notebook and then all of a sudden a week has gone by and I haven’t jotted a single note. I post a compilation of one and two sentence thoughts but nothing resembling an essay or fully composed piece on my blog. I forget about writing my book, short story or screenplay. The idea for a one act play sounds juvenile and uninteresting and why would I want to really try my hand at writing anyway? I don’t have the time. Top Chef is about to start their finale this week and The Patriots were on Monday night football tonight. Can you believe how intense last week’s Criminal Minds was? Besides, How can I expect to score 300,000 points on Bejeweled Blitz (using The Wife’s facebook account no less) without putting in some serious practice every night? Priorities. Oh yeah, I’ve got a kid at home too, but we’ve got enough of the serious meds here to knock him out pretty good. How else we supposed to get anything done around here? [DISCLAIMER * DISCLAIMER * I like to try writing jokes every now and again. Don’t bother with the email and comments about drugging my kid to get him to sleep. For that we use Scotch. Blended, because Liam can’t tell which is the good stuff yet.] A week turns to a month and BAM! its been over a year and the photoblog hasn’t had new photo posted. Or the Super Bowl just happened and I haven’t posted in the baseball blog since the All-Star break. Its how I work. Its my “method”.
I know what your thinking but its not as hard as it looks to be a “writer” and “blogger” who doesn’t write. You can do it too if you really work hard at your procrastination skills. Thinking about trying something is just about as good as trying something right? I’m going to write that novel, short story, blog piece and screenplay.
I’ll start them all.